In the vast landscape of our minds, self-limiting beliefs often act as invisible chains that tether us to a life far below our potential. This is the same story underneath 99% of my client’s lives, that they uncover, after years of trying everything to ‘fix their broken lives,’ which are actually just stuck in a trauma response, usually freeze and/or fawn.
These beliefs are so deeply ingrained perceptions about ourselves and the world around us, often formed through past experiences or societal conditioning. They whisper doubts in moments of opportunity, erect barriers where none should exist and set up sabotage traps to keep us tethered in our small reality. It’s as if we’re held back by an invisible force, unable to break free from the confines of our own minds.
- Imagine an animal tied to a stake, yearning for freedom yet resigned to its captivity. These become engrained beliefs and are like the thick ropes that bind us, restricting our movements and confining us within a limited space, forever until you choose to find and change them.
- The animal eventually stops calling out, stops pulling on the tether, (whether it’s around the neck or ankle), stops growing and shrinks to the size of that small tethered circle.
- This becomes an invisible circle that your trauma survivor response brain can never let you free of, as it believes, it is dangerous on the other side. Its job is to keep you safe, alive and away from emotional pain for the rest of your days. That’s why you stay in the insanity circle, ‘keep doing what you have always done to get what you have always got.”
Just as the animal feels the weight of its restraints with each futile attempt at escape, we too feel the burden of our self-imposed limitations every time we dare to dream or strive for something greater. The whispers of doubt grow louder, echoing in moments of opportunity like taunting jeers from an unseen captor.
Yet unlike the animal waiting for someone to come and set it free, we actually hold the key within to unlocking ourselves from these chains. It is up to us to recognize these false perceptions for what they are – remnants of past experiences or societal conditioning that no longer serve us. Only by acknowledging their existence can we begin to unravel their grip on our lives.
With each realization comes a tug against the invisible, yet real, tethered ropes, weakening their hold one strand at a time. As we confront and challenge these limiting beliefs and fears head-on, we inch closer towards liberation – towards breaking free from the shackles that have held us back for so long.
So let us not wait for someone to come for us but instead embrace our own power within to break free from this mental captivity. Let us untangle ourselves from self-doubt and fear, by connecting to our true authentic heart and self, then stepping boldly into a future unbound by limitations.
Embracing vulnerability and taking risks are essential components of breaking free from self-imposed limitations, being done so in a safe protected space. Stepping outside their comfort zones allows individuals to confront fears head-on and realise that they are capable of far more than their minds would previously allow them to believe.
Ultimately, the journey towards personal liberation involves cultivating self-awareness, practising self-compassion, and embracing growth as an ongoing process. By challenging self-limiting beliefs with courage and determination, individuals can unlock their true potential and live authentically aligned with their values and aspirations.
Tethered no more, means we will no longer be confined by what once held us back, starting in childhood with our Inner Child or Teenager; “This is all I am allowed. This is all I can afford. This is all I deserve. This is all I can be. This is all I can have. etc, etc.” Even though you have grown up.
The journey may not be easy, but with determination, courage and a trustworthy guide & mentor, together we can shatter those invisible chains that bind us and step into a future filled with endless possibilities.
I have travelled this path, stumbled and fallen but never ever given up. The same as every trauma response survivor client I have ever worked with. We each have the same patterns, similar stories, always a survivor through and through and we are still here and alive, no matter what state or stage of life we are in. We will be stuck in at least one of the trauma responses, for me it is usually the freeze and fawn”.
But when working with other people I will call on the fight response, becoming an ‘Erin Brockovich’ or ‘Joan of Arc’ for justice when working with and for others, especially for my children and grandchildren.
The principles of the Polyvagal Theory of the Nervous System are explained in a nutshell:
Sympathetic Fight or Flight: The sympathetic nervous system is associated with the “fight or flight” response. It prepares the body to respond to perceived threats by increasing heart rate, dilating pupil and releasing stress hormones (cortisol & adrenaline).
Parasympathetic Freeze or Shutdown (dorsal vagal complex): The oldest circuit, it is linked to immobilisation and shutting down in response to extreme threat or danger. It can lead to disassociation and feelings of being overwhelmed.
***The “Tethered Inner Child,” is usually stuck in this system and also can have access to the fight and flight responses, but not for long.***
“TRAUMA is a psychic wound that hardens you psychologically and then interferes with your ability to grow and develop. It pains you and now you’re acting out of pain. It induces fear and now you’re acting out of fear. Trauma is not what happens to you, it’s what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you, it’s also the good things that should have happened – but didn’t”. Dr Gabor Maté